As you can see, Mass Alimony Reform's website has undergone a transformation. It's now an amazing repository of information about alimony laws in Massachusetts, information about women and work, and news about how these laws can be changed to reflect real life in 2008, instead of the distorted, archaic world view that shapes the state's alimony laws.
As more people hear about Mass Alimony's work and goals, membership grows beyond our imaginings. Men and women from around the state and around country are working together to change the laws - and to give one another support and practical information on how to navigate the state's 18th century divorce courts.
Please continue to spread the word about our work, send a link to our website to anyone you know who is getting married or divorced in Massachusetts, and please donate whatever you can to MAR, even if it's $10. See the link under DONATIONS. Use PayPal or send a check.
Come early January, when the new bill will be introduced, we will need people to come to the State House from all over the state and show their support for new legislation that will bring Massachusetts laws into the 21st century - and into conformity with the rest of the country.
It's about time, isn't it?
-A Massachusetts Second Wife
Monday, December 15, 2008
Monday, September 8, 2008
We'll Make News This Fall & Winter!
Sorry for this long silence over the summer. The summer has brought much new attention to our cause. Nearly every day, Mass Alimony Reform and the 2nd Wives Club receive emails and phone calls from men and women in need of advice, support, a place to vent, and more and more evidence that Massachusetts divorce laws are in desperate need of major change! Our political base is growing, our organization is becoming stronger, and we are ready to begin the fall with renewed energy to convince the legislature - and the general public - that there is an urgent need for change.
On July 30th, Robin Young on WBUR's daily show "Here and Now" did a segment on problems with alimony law in Massachusetts. Journalist Elizabeth Benedict spoke as did Sally Frank, a law professor at Drake University in Iowa. Professor Frank confirmed that Massachusetts is unique in having second wives' income routinely included in alimony; she pointed out that it is even rare for other states to include a second wife's income in child support calculations. Listen to the broadcast here:
http://www.here-now.org/shows/2008/07/20080730_5.asp
This fall will bring more media and public attention to the issue.
Even in these tough economic times -- and even in families where too much of peoples' paychecks go to alimony -- we hope you will find a way to donate money to Mass Alimony Reform for our efforts. On the Mass Alimony Website (www.massalimonyreform.org), there is a DONATION category, and you can donate using PayPal.
Please continue to write us with your stories, your concerns, your setbacks -- and your victories.
Activities will pick up in the fall. We'll need you to keep writing legislators and to make personal visits to the State House with everyone in your family affected by these laws.
The more women we can get to make visits, the more of an impression we will make on legislators, who usually think of alimony as something that affects only men.
Thanks for checking in. Keep spreading the news.
The 2nd Wives Club
On July 30th, Robin Young on WBUR's daily show "Here and Now" did a segment on problems with alimony law in Massachusetts. Journalist Elizabeth Benedict spoke as did Sally Frank, a law professor at Drake University in Iowa. Professor Frank confirmed that Massachusetts is unique in having second wives' income routinely included in alimony; she pointed out that it is even rare for other states to include a second wife's income in child support calculations. Listen to the broadcast here:
http://www.here-now.org/shows/2008/07/20080730_5.asp
This fall will bring more media and public attention to the issue.
Even in these tough economic times -- and even in families where too much of peoples' paychecks go to alimony -- we hope you will find a way to donate money to Mass Alimony Reform for our efforts. On the Mass Alimony Website (www.massalimonyreform.org), there is a DONATION category, and you can donate using PayPal.
Please continue to write us with your stories, your concerns, your setbacks -- and your victories.
Activities will pick up in the fall. We'll need you to keep writing legislators and to make personal visits to the State House with everyone in your family affected by these laws.
The more women we can get to make visits, the more of an impression we will make on legislators, who usually think of alimony as something that affects only men.
Thanks for checking in. Keep spreading the news.
The 2nd Wives Club
Sunday, July 6, 2008
The Alimony Reform Movement
The good news just keeps on coming. The media continue to be interested in the story of the 2nd wives AND of alimony problems in Massachusetts in general. On June 26, WGBH's "Greater Boston" with Emily Rooney featured the story of Deb Scanlan, and had a panel with attorney Tim Taylor and journalist Elizabeth Benedict, discussing what Ms. Rooney called the state's "very very strict .... a bit draconian" alimony laws. Many websites and blogs picked up news of the show, including attorney Steven Ballard's divorce blog, http://massachusettsfamilylaw.blogspot.com/2008/06/alimony-reform-discussed-on-emily.html. Attorney Gerald Nissenbaum also appeared, largely in defense of the current law, with an exception for lifetime alimony for short-term marriages.
Two days later, on Saturday June 28, popular radio host Michele McPhee (96.9FM) did a short piece about Elizabeth Benedict's op-ed in the Globe (June 13), and interviewed Ms. Benedict on women who read the op-ed and canceled their weddings to divorced men within hours.
This coming week there should be a major radio interview on the subject of the 2nd wives and alimony reform. As soon as we are certain it's on, we will post a notice here.
In the meantime, Steve at Mass Alimony Reform continues to get phone calls and emails from throughout the state and the country from people who are suffering from Massachusetts alimony orders that they cannot afford to pay. Some are senior citizens, retired, and in poor health, yet they do not have the means to get these orders changed. Others are from accomplished professionals in Boston's workforce who have been forced to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars in divorce courts because of lifetime alimony and who fear getting remarried because of the 2nd wives' issues.
In all of this press attention, there have been few voices of support for these current laws, except from divorce lawyers. Many divorce lawyers know how out of date and destructive these laws are, but many are not willing to say so publicly. Others have too much invested in the current system. Still others hope that the laws change to reflect the realities of life today instead of life in 1950.
But it will be the citizens of the state who must pressure the legislators and the governor to reform these laws.
Mass Alimony Reform and The 2nd Wives Club are at the forefront of the movement to bring these "archaic" and "draconian" laws into the 21st century.
Please help by contacting your representatives in the State House and by making a donation through PayPal to Mass Alimony Reform.
Two days later, on Saturday June 28, popular radio host Michele McPhee (96.9FM) did a short piece about Elizabeth Benedict's op-ed in the Globe (June 13), and interviewed Ms. Benedict on women who read the op-ed and canceled their weddings to divorced men within hours.
This coming week there should be a major radio interview on the subject of the 2nd wives and alimony reform. As soon as we are certain it's on, we will post a notice here.
In the meantime, Steve at Mass Alimony Reform continues to get phone calls and emails from throughout the state and the country from people who are suffering from Massachusetts alimony orders that they cannot afford to pay. Some are senior citizens, retired, and in poor health, yet they do not have the means to get these orders changed. Others are from accomplished professionals in Boston's workforce who have been forced to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars in divorce courts because of lifetime alimony and who fear getting remarried because of the 2nd wives' issues.
In all of this press attention, there have been few voices of support for these current laws, except from divorce lawyers. Many divorce lawyers know how out of date and destructive these laws are, but many are not willing to say so publicly. Others have too much invested in the current system. Still others hope that the laws change to reflect the realities of life today instead of life in 1950.
But it will be the citizens of the state who must pressure the legislators and the governor to reform these laws.
Mass Alimony Reform and The 2nd Wives Club are at the forefront of the movement to bring these "archaic" and "draconian" laws into the 21st century.
Please help by contacting your representatives in the State House and by making a donation through PayPal to Mass Alimony Reform.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Attention 2nd Wives! They're Paying Attention
The old media and the new are paying attention to the problems of lifetime alimony and the 2nd wives plight in Massachusetts. In addition to the Boston Globe op-ed, Elizabeth Benedict wrote a long piece for Huffington Post called "Never-Ending Alimony in Massachusetts," which has zoomed around the Internet on many sites. Benedict has given us permission to reprint the article, so feel free to send it around once you get it from Huffington Post (do Google search with the article's title in quotes.)
Earlier today, Mass Alimony Reform put out a press release to announce "Women Cancel Weddings Within Hours of Boston Globe Op-Ed" and that took has taken a fast trip around the Internet.
The news is spreading, and media outlets are listening. And there is MUCH sympathy for our cause. In fact, we have heard NO opposition.
This past Monday, two nights ago, Deb Scanlan, Steve Hitner (who founded Mass Alimony Reform) and attorney Tim Taylor, who drafted HR 1567, all appeared for 2 hours (!) on Boston's WBZ 1030AM radio, from 8pm to 10pm. A divorce attorney was also on hand, by phone, to consult with. Sparks flew. The phone lines lit up. People called in from all over the country, including Florida and Maine. No one called in to support the current law! Many women called in with a variety of stories: One to say she and her finance had just canceled their wedding, after reading the Globe Op-ed and realizing how vulnerable they made themselves by marrying. Another woman called in from Rhode Island to say she had not gotten alimony after a long, abusive marriage -- and she surprised everyone by saying how grateful she was she had NOT gotten it because it forced her to pull herself up from a terrible situation -- and today she is happy, in a career she likes (teaching), and she has shown her kids that able-bodied people take care of themselves, instead of remaining parasites, as the Mass system allows them to do.
The host of the radio show said he would invite Deb and Steve back in August. Good work!
Thank you for checking in. Please contact your legislators and tell them that Mass alimony laws are finally being exposed to the light of day -- and they need desperately to be updated and reformed. Tell your legislators that you support HR 1567, and you hope he or she will too when it is introduced again.
It's important that legislators know we are paying attention, even though it will be months before the bill can be reintroduced.
We'll let you know about upcoming media events.
Keep the faith.
A Mass Second Wife
Earlier today, Mass Alimony Reform put out a press release to announce "Women Cancel Weddings Within Hours of Boston Globe Op-Ed" and that took has taken a fast trip around the Internet.
The news is spreading, and media outlets are listening. And there is MUCH sympathy for our cause. In fact, we have heard NO opposition.
This past Monday, two nights ago, Deb Scanlan, Steve Hitner (who founded Mass Alimony Reform) and attorney Tim Taylor, who drafted HR 1567, all appeared for 2 hours (!) on Boston's WBZ 1030AM radio, from 8pm to 10pm. A divorce attorney was also on hand, by phone, to consult with. Sparks flew. The phone lines lit up. People called in from all over the country, including Florida and Maine. No one called in to support the current law! Many women called in with a variety of stories: One to say she and her finance had just canceled their wedding, after reading the Globe Op-ed and realizing how vulnerable they made themselves by marrying. Another woman called in from Rhode Island to say she had not gotten alimony after a long, abusive marriage -- and she surprised everyone by saying how grateful she was she had NOT gotten it because it forced her to pull herself up from a terrible situation -- and today she is happy, in a career she likes (teaching), and she has shown her kids that able-bodied people take care of themselves, instead of remaining parasites, as the Mass system allows them to do.
The host of the radio show said he would invite Deb and Steve back in August. Good work!
Thank you for checking in. Please contact your legislators and tell them that Mass alimony laws are finally being exposed to the light of day -- and they need desperately to be updated and reformed. Tell your legislators that you support HR 1567, and you hope he or she will too when it is introduced again.
It's important that legislators know we are paying attention, even though it will be months before the bill can be reintroduced.
We'll let you know about upcoming media events.
Keep the faith.
A Mass Second Wife
Monday, June 16, 2008
Women Cancelling Weddings!
Amazing news! As a result of the Boston Globe op-ed on Friday condemning the state's alimony laws, Mass Alimony Reform and the 2nd Wives Club have received numerous emails and phone calls from women who have plans to marry divorced men in Massachusetts - and who have cancelled their weddings and changed their marriage plans as a result of the information in the op-ed!
In the old days, it was men who got cold feet about marriage. But in the great state of Massachusetts, women who marry men with divorce obligations might as well be marrying (and divorcing!) their new husbands' ex-wives.
Please write to your legislators and tell them to reform alimony laws and keep judges from having unlimited, unchecked discretion in how they make decisions! Tell your legislators to support HR 1567, which reforms the state's alimony laws and brings them into conformity with the rest of the country. At present, Mass alimony laws are in the dark ages. Mass alimony laws have a chilling effect on marriage, not only on men's decisions to marry but on womens'.
Divorce lawyers want the laws to be ambiguous and vague. Why? Because the less precise the laws are, the more court time they can rack up fighting their cases for you and against you. Lawyers win. The rest of us lose.
For a set of horror stories from the Mass Probate and Family Courts, please send an email with your snail mail address to:
steveh@metrowestprinting.com.
Stay tuned for more info on media reactions to the Globe op-ed.
In the old days, it was men who got cold feet about marriage. But in the great state of Massachusetts, women who marry men with divorce obligations might as well be marrying (and divorcing!) their new husbands' ex-wives.
Please write to your legislators and tell them to reform alimony laws and keep judges from having unlimited, unchecked discretion in how they make decisions! Tell your legislators to support HR 1567, which reforms the state's alimony laws and brings them into conformity with the rest of the country. At present, Mass alimony laws are in the dark ages. Mass alimony laws have a chilling effect on marriage, not only on men's decisions to marry but on womens'.
Divorce lawyers want the laws to be ambiguous and vague. Why? Because the less precise the laws are, the more court time they can rack up fighting their cases for you and against you. Lawyers win. The rest of us lose.
For a set of horror stories from the Mass Probate and Family Courts, please send an email with your snail mail address to:
steveh@metrowestprinting.com.
Stay tuned for more info on media reactions to the Globe op-ed.
Friday, June 13, 2008
A Banner Day for Our Cause
Our cause received a real shot in the arm today when the Boston Globe ran an op-ed by Elizabeth Benedict called "The Chilling Effect of State's Divorce Laws," in which she exposed the dark underside of our state's practices toward second wives and families. This article has been the most emailed article of the day on the Boston Globe!
Please print out this article, get a paper copy of the newspaper, and take copies of this article everywhere you go. Hand it out to your ministers, your rabbis, your doctors, nurses, dentists. Keep the story moving.
At 5am, Tom Finneran, who used to be speaker of the house (I believe that was his title), mentioned the op-ed on his radio show on WKRO. A state senator (I didn't catch his name) was also on the show and expressed his horror at these laws. He vowed to go to the Judiciary Committee members tomorrow and find out why the bill was put into study and try to get it out. Steve Hitner and Ms. Benedict spoke on the show about the current law. She stressed that lawyers sometimes deny second wives' incomes are used, and that lawyers say that if a judge does use a second wife's income, the judge is in error -- and that it's up to the wronged individual to learn the judge has made a mistake and to appeal the decision! Great for lawyers, lousy for the rest of us, huh?
Where we go from here? Our publicity campaign is just beginning. The more media attention we get, the more our legislators will understand that we mean business, and that the general public is revolted by these laws. It is TERRIBLE when women and children suffer after a divorce, and protective laws are essential! But it is just as bad when other family members suffer -- husbands, second wives, the children of second marriages -- and lawmakers and the public should not stand for this either.
Keep writing and calling your legislators and keep talking about the issue. HR 1567, which is current "under study," may well be taken out of study and reconsidered by the Judiciary Committee. But whether it is or not, the bill will be reintroduced in January, and we will fight to get co-sponsors and media attention to these disgraceful laws.
Unfortunately, we will have to go up against the Mass Bar, which does not want legislation, even though they know the current law is truly awful.
Thanks everyone for checking in. Keep coming back. Keep up the good fight!
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Welcome to our new blog!
We've started this new blog and hope to keep it up to date with new activities and your ongoing comments. Please feel free to add comments in the comment section.
The 2nd Wives Club was started because 2nd wives of divorced men paying alimony in Massachusetts are being forced to contribute to the alimony their husbands' ex-wives receive. Lawyers tell me this does not happen. Lawyers tell me that this is not the law. Lawyers tell me that the second wives' income isn't used to determine alimony, but that it's used to determine household expenses, which are then used to determine how much money the husband has available for alimony, and that it's the HUSBAND'S money that is sent to the ex-wife, not the new wife's money! Even decent, well-meaning lawyers have explained this to me, insisting that it's not the new wife's money that is sent or even considered! When I hear them say this over and over again, I know I am living in an alternate universe - Massachusetts.
When I have explained a case in which the second wife's income is specifically used in calculations to determine alimony payments, one lawyer said to me, "The judge made a mistake. Judges make mistakes. The remedy for that is an appeal." The lawyer, a woman, did not explain to me how to learn that a judge has made a mistake if your lawyer doesn't tell you it's a mistake. The lawyer also did not explain to me how middle income people are supposed to file appeals after they have been impoverished by alimony and lawyers' fees. Judges make mistakes, and it's up to poor citizens to catch their mistakes and file appeals. Remember that.
SOME GOOD NEWS!
We work closely with Mass Alimony Reform and both organizations are beginning a publicity campaign to bring public and media attention to the issues that unjustly burden our lives and our marriages. We have an advertisement that will run the week of June 2nd, three times, in the Harvard Crimson. This is the week for class reunions and the Harvard graduation, when the Crimson will be read by thousands of influential visitors to the campus. When I figure out how to do this, I will post a copy of the ad on this blog.
Mass Alimony Reform is now a not for profit political organization with tax exempt status.
In order to pay for these ads and others, we are beginning a fund raising drive. Contributions of any amount are welcome. If you want information on how to contribute, please email steveh@metrowestprinting.com. These contributions are NOT tax deductible.
We also have a printed collection of alimony horror stories, which include testimony presented to the legislature in January 2008 and several letters written to us. We hope to have the horror stories available soon on PDF files, but in the meantime, we are sending them out by snail mail to anyone who requests them. Please send requests with your snail mail address to steveh@metrowestprinting.com.
THE FUTURE
The legislation that we supported earlier this year, HR 1567, was sent for "further study," which means that it's dead for this session of the legislature, which ends on July 31. When the legislature reconvenes in January, we expect that the legislation will be reintroduced -- and that between now and then, public awareness of this situation will give it more weight in the legislature.
The 2nd Wives Club was started because 2nd wives of divorced men paying alimony in Massachusetts are being forced to contribute to the alimony their husbands' ex-wives receive. Lawyers tell me this does not happen. Lawyers tell me that this is not the law. Lawyers tell me that the second wives' income isn't used to determine alimony, but that it's used to determine household expenses, which are then used to determine how much money the husband has available for alimony, and that it's the HUSBAND'S money that is sent to the ex-wife, not the new wife's money! Even decent, well-meaning lawyers have explained this to me, insisting that it's not the new wife's money that is sent or even considered! When I hear them say this over and over again, I know I am living in an alternate universe - Massachusetts.
When I have explained a case in which the second wife's income is specifically used in calculations to determine alimony payments, one lawyer said to me, "The judge made a mistake. Judges make mistakes. The remedy for that is an appeal." The lawyer, a woman, did not explain to me how to learn that a judge has made a mistake if your lawyer doesn't tell you it's a mistake. The lawyer also did not explain to me how middle income people are supposed to file appeals after they have been impoverished by alimony and lawyers' fees. Judges make mistakes, and it's up to poor citizens to catch their mistakes and file appeals. Remember that.
SOME GOOD NEWS!
We work closely with Mass Alimony Reform and both organizations are beginning a publicity campaign to bring public and media attention to the issues that unjustly burden our lives and our marriages. We have an advertisement that will run the week of June 2nd, three times, in the Harvard Crimson. This is the week for class reunions and the Harvard graduation, when the Crimson will be read by thousands of influential visitors to the campus. When I figure out how to do this, I will post a copy of the ad on this blog.
Mass Alimony Reform is now a not for profit political organization with tax exempt status.
In order to pay for these ads and others, we are beginning a fund raising drive. Contributions of any amount are welcome. If you want information on how to contribute, please email steveh@metrowestprinting.com. These contributions are NOT tax deductible.
We also have a printed collection of alimony horror stories, which include testimony presented to the legislature in January 2008 and several letters written to us. We hope to have the horror stories available soon on PDF files, but in the meantime, we are sending them out by snail mail to anyone who requests them. Please send requests with your snail mail address to steveh@metrowestprinting.com.
THE FUTURE
The legislation that we supported earlier this year, HR 1567, was sent for "further study," which means that it's dead for this session of the legislature, which ends on July 31. When the legislature reconvenes in January, we expect that the legislation will be reintroduced -- and that between now and then, public awareness of this situation will give it more weight in the legislature.
Keep talking about this issue, write letters to the editor of your local papers, and see what happens when you talk to your clergy members about it and when you ask for their help. We may embark on a campaign to educate members of the clergy about this situation, since it influences so many marriages. If you do talk to your minister or rabbi, please report back to us. Feel free to post a comment on the blog or to write to jeaniem@metrowestprinting.com, if you want a private communication.
We're happy you're on board. We have a lot of work to do to get these laws changed, and we are eager to hear from you.
Thanks.
A Mass 2nd Wife
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